Friday, January 26, 2007

words without a rhyme

Notes on A Haunting:

This isn't about my haunting, mind you. My story isn't this outlandish...yet.

****
Television: "They prepared to enter the house..."

Me: "Ding Dong!" "Who's there?" "Eeeeeevil." "Come on in..."

A.B. "...I made some sweet tea. Let me just put away this laundry..."

****
Television: "Lorraine Warren is a clairvoyant..."

Me: "Oh, Ernie. How lovely. I knew you were going to call..."

Television: (Lorraine) "...I knew you were going to call."

Me: "Dude! Maybe I'M a clairvoyant!"

****
Me: "Wait, so he's going to leave his girlfriend alone in the house while he roams around outside with the bottle of holy water that looks like he got it from Archie McPhee? Asshole!"

A.B.: "You'd think they'd be smart enough to split it up into a couple of Tupperware containers so they'd both have some."

****
Television: (Ernie) "I saw the dark figure in the woods, and all I could do was stare. I didn't know what to do."

A.B.: "Oh! I know this one. When you see a demon in the woods, you're supposed to curl up in the fetal position and play dead. No, wait! Shit, that's not right. Are you supposed to climb a tree and wait for it to lose interest?"

****
In all fairness to this episode, these people didn't do anything stupid. Our usual cries of, "Just leave the house, you dumbass!" didn't apply. The malevolent spirit allegedly attached itself to them the minute they walked through the door, and they couldn't shake it without the help of three priests, those paranormal hacks the Warrens, and a whole lot of quick-cut shaky-camera action.

We do have our fun, Accountant Boy and I. All in all, a good start to a Friday evening.

Post title? Rainbow in the Dark by Ronnie James Dio. I saw him in concert a couple of years ago. He was wearing a purple velvet tunic, and although he musthave been about 195 years old, his hair was still coal black. He looked like a little Italian grandmother, but that diminutive troll still rocked like it was 1984.

1 comment:

Batty said...

The worst part? I want that house!