Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My eyes! My eyes!

I've been in a meeting for five hours, and I just can't take it anymore. I have what I can only assume is a legitimate medical disorder, where the flickering of a projector screen makes my eyes roll back into my head and eventually knocks me out. It's like some kind of mesmerization. It doesn't matter if I'm interested in the subject. It doesn't matter if the speaker is speaking directly to me. I just conk right out. So after two hours of biting my finger and attempting to not look at the huge white screen with the tiny, unfocused black text all over it, I switched seats.

Trouble is, now the projector itself is ever so slightly shining in my right eye. It's as though someone is poking the inside of my eye with a small, blunt instrument. If you've ever had laser surgery on your retina, you might know the feeling. If you haven't had that unique experience, I would recommend against it. "Try to look straight ahead, now..." You're shining a friggin' laser in my eye in order to burn my retina, guy. The only thing keeping me from bolting out of here now is the tongue depressor you've got pushed against my orbital bone. Seriously, who performs eye surgery with a tongue depressor as a retractor? Apparently he did a great job, because my optometrist is still raving about it nine years later. Laser pointer and a popsicle stick. I mean, really. But I digress.

Point is, my eye hurts, and my head's following close behind. "We're starting back up in a couple of minutes."

Ah, nuts.

Oh, ummm...Gratitude #4 -- I have the use of both of my eyes.

1 comment:

Batty said...

Ever get checked for epilepsy or some such? Flickering projectors make my eyes hurt too, but I never have seizures like you're describing!

My eyes hurt too, and they're all light sensitive. Happens every time I do fumbly work, like making up a sweater. Which sucks, because when you knit, you eventually have to put it together!