"Instant karma's gonna get you! Gonna squirt you right in the FACE!"
"Uh, Molly? I'm kind of, um, mad at you, so..."
"You're mad at me? I'm SUPER loveable! Why are you mad?"
"Because you're a Yoko."
"I'm a WHAT?!?"
"You're like that lady who messed up the design of the Beetle or something."
"The three of us were like this awesome band. We even had a cool picture for our album cover. And then we had to break up, just like the Buggles, and it's all your fault, so you're a total Yoko."
"I am NOT a Yoko! I want to be one of the Beagles."
"I worked it all out. I'm like John, and Ernie's like Paul, and Hana's like that other guy who made that video with all of those animatronic squirrels, and you're a Yoko."
"Why can't I be Ringo, though?"
"Because you're different from us, and you broke up the band, and you make a lot of irritating noises, and you flash your lady-junk at the camera all the time."
O.K., dogs? Can I interject here? Molly, you did introduce a new dynamic into the pack, and now the boys can't play together anymore. That is kind of on you, sweetie.
"Because I am TOO MUCH FUN?"
Sure, pup. That must be what it is. And Winston, it's not like she's forcing you fellas to go after each other like it's goddamn Thunderdome, so it's kind of on you, too, guy. And, by the way, 'Yoko' is not a noun.
"Well, you're a Yoko."
"We're ALL Yokos! Yaaaaaaaay!"
I f&$king hate The Beatles.
* * *
Doc and I are still trying to decide whether or not it's worth trying to reintroduce the boys. They started fighting a few months ago, vicious fights where both dogs came away bloody. We think it has something to do with the energy that Molly brings to their playdates. She's a noisy player, and she riles up the other dogs around her with her growls.
Do we try to teach her to not be so provocative? Do we go back to getting them all together for walks, and see if we can get them to calm down? Do we accept that the three older dogs won't ever get back to where they were when that picture was taken? That last option is a little sad, because it's been a theme around here lately. "That was a beautiful time, but it's never going to be like that again. All I have left is the picture."
On the other hand, they don't seem to mind too much. They love each other. We still get different combinations of the dogs together, just not Winston and Ernie. It's working itself out.
Maybe she's not Yoko. Maybe she's more of a Linda.