Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Winston's Review: Nikon Field Glasses


It's me, Winston J. Schmidt.

I've been keeping pretty busy with hanging around and looking handsome, and coming up with new and creative ways of arranging Fort Winston on Suzanne's bed. I haven't had much time to review Suzanne's stuff lately, but I promised to do more write-ups of my work, so here's something I worked on a while back.

Winston's Art: "Unmaking a Spectacle of Myself"

Materials: Nikon field glasses

My Process: So, Suzanne left us again for, like, three days (half an hour, just long enough to chat with the neighbors across the street - ed.) and she put her purse in the closet, so I had to be more creative with this one.

I couldn't find anything good in the kitchen, and she'd emptied the trash in all of the bathrooms. I though about eating a remote control, but I got bored after gnawing on the battery.

I was pretty bummed that I couldn't find any more eyeglasses, because that's still my favorite medium. I found the next best thing up in the library, though. These binoculars came in a big, soft case, and they're made of glass and plastic, so they're practically giant eyeglasses. So, uh, you can't blame a guy for making an honest mistake, right?

I didn't get much of a chance to do anything creative with them, because Suzanne came home too soon. I only got as far as chewing them into tiny pieces on my bed. I think I did a good job considering the tight deadline, though.

Conclusion: The case wasn't real leather, which was disappointing. The field glasses were much more complex than eyeglasses, so chewing them was about a hundred times more satisfying. Overall, this was a fun project.

Suzanne doesn't leave us alone in the house anymore, not even when she's out in the garage working out, so it might be a little while before I get to do another large-scale review. Don't worry, though. She'll drop her guard before too long, and I'll get back to work.

Anyway, thanks for reading along.


Winston J. ‘Bug’ Schmidt


jabblog said...

Winston, I think you could earn a handsome living reviewing for top-line optics magazines as well as a neat sideline in materials. A word of advice - you should ASK Suzanne before you launch into your in-depth observations - oh, and don't chew batteries; they're really not good for you.

SuzannaBanana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SuzannaBanana said...

I'm happy to report that he only dimpled the battery case. The last thing Winston needs is an acid burn on his tongue.