Sunday, September 24, 2006

In the Other Library

What can you learn about someone by looking at their DVD collection? Many things. In this entire collection, there are probably a handful of straight-up dramas -- 'Das Boot', Lars von Trier's 'Medea', 'Shadow of the Vampire', and, um, oh let's call the 'I,Claudius' set a drama. Everything else is either action, sci fi, comedy, or so bad that it should have its own category. Allysa Milano "art" film, I'm looking at you. Asia Argento film about vampires running a dog-fighting ring? Don't think you can hide behind the 'Star Wars' trilogy, sweetheart. I see you back there.
So what do you learn about us by looking? We don't bring a lot of drama home. We're goofy. We don't have children. We have questionable taste. Here is your proof from 'Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter". "We're running short on skin. We'll need to harvest more lesbians." Need more? How about the unrated DVD of "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon"? "What, are you afraid a shark might swim up and bite your culo?" I don't know how 'Flash Gordon' ended up with these two.
Here are a couple of good ones. 'Cemetery Man (Dellamorte, Dellamore)' is a great little film staring a young Rupert Everett as a groundskeeper in a northern Italian cemetary that is anything but quiet. It's got love, it's got death. It's got love after death, maybe some necrophilial love depending on your perspective. It's got zombies. It's got a problematic relationship between a reanimated, decapitated head and the simpleton who loves her. And then the ending gets weird. The art direction is gorgeous. This is the region 2 DVD, so it only plays on one machine in our house, but it's now available for region 1 players. I highly recommend it, if you're not offended by zombie lovin'.

Dr. No's in there to give some balance. I love Dr. No, and I'll watch it every time it's on AMC. I bought the DVD so I wouldn't have to wait for their bi-monthly "All Bond, All Day" month to roll back around in order to see it.

These are some of the all-time favorites. I can watch 'Riddick', 'The Rundown' and 'Club Dread' on continuous loop and never get tired of them. There was a point this spring when they were all on the movie channels at the same time, and I never had to get off the couch. I called in sick one day because I saw that I could flip between the east and west coast feeds and see all three of them from morning until bedtime. They're my knitting movies. The first hour of 'The Transporter' gets to be a part of that club, too. I like watching him drive, fight and banter with the French detective, but the movie loses me after his house blows up.

My favorite? I'd have a hard time picking just one. When I took the pictures, 'High Plains Drifter' lept out at me.

My friend has strict criteria for movies. "Does it have a shark? Do things blow up? Does anyone get eaten alive by some fantastical creature? No? Then I'm not interested." I'm happy to say that about half of our DVD collection meets her standards.


turtlegirl76 said...

Hey! I used to have those same racks but for CDs and I painted the bits red. Didn't know they made them for DVDs. Pretty cool.

Bezzie said...

Your friend's criteria for movies made me laugh!!!

I have a special place in my heart for bad vampire flicks. Hubby and I hooked up for the first time "watching" one. Near Dark (or Dawn?) I think it was called--didn't watch too much of it. Hee hee.

weezalana said...

"from 'Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter". "We're running short on skin. We'll need to harvest more lesbians.""

OMG, I haven't stopped laughing for 20 minutes!

Batty said...

Hey, can we do movie night at your house? I'll bring the wine!

Curse you, geography!