Dude! You just got Rijned!

"You got two Vermeers and a Frans Hals! Why is that only worth 45 cents?" said nobody on a gaming floor, ever.

"See, babe, what makes that funny is that Rembrandt died destitute, and...wait, that's not funny. That's not funny at all. Now I'm sad," said I.

Meanwhile, somewhere on the UCSB campus, an Art History grad student is knocking on a locked door during office hours and getting no response. On the other side of the door, head in her hands, Dr. Ann Adams is quietly weeping.