"I be mighty amused, miss! Why would'ye be wearing that fetchin' rag on yer head, then?"
"Oh, hey, Pirate Skull Planter. I'm feeling kind of glum, actually. My vacation wasn't long enough, and I'm losing my big, roomy cubicle, and I'm just generally out of sorts. By the way, the 'fetching rag' on my head is the back of my fisherman's rib tank. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement."
"And here I be thinkin' it your new jack. Lustrous and shimmery, like a piece of silver half buried in a keg of powder."
"Yeah, thanks, it is kind of...wait, what? I can't tell if that was a compliment. Oh, whatever. I just wish it were done. I've lost all desire to knit it, but I don't want to start anything else until it's complete. I don't have all that much in the way of summer clothes, so I have to knit faster if I hope to still be appropriately covered come July. I could end up wearing the Fluffy Angora Menace on a 100-degree day with the way things are going now. It almost happened today.
And I'm not kidding about the move. We'll be up in a hovel on the fifth floor by the end of the month. We're losing thirty square feet, including the rainforest corner I've set up over there. I don't know what I'm going to do with my trees."
"Ha! Fine bit of hilarity there, lass. Ye're pullin' my non-existent leg."
"If only I were, Pirate Skull Planter. If only I were. It's a third smaller, and the group that sat there before us were animals. They unscrewed half of the overhead lightbulbs because they wanted to work in the dark, and I think there might actually be graffiti on the cube walls. It's scrubby.
Ah, maybe it won't be so bad. If I had to pick any cubicle in the building other than my own, I'd pick that one. It's in a sunny corner, set back from the main aisle. The plants that I manage to fit in the space will be happier, and I've always wanted to sit near a window. You'll like it up there."
"Aye. One berth be pretty much like another for Pirate Skull Planter."
"That's the spirit! And I'll finish this sweater and it'll be stunning and appropriate for even the hottest summer day, and then I'll start in on something more exciting."
"Easy there, me little bowspirit. Ye don't want to engage in too much optimism all at once."
"I am still feeling a little grouchy about my vacation. F&%king short, expensive vacation, and now I'm not going to feel right about going on another one this year because we screwed up the budget with this one, and...hey, thanks, Pirate Skull Planter! I now feel perfectly balanced between cheery optimism and the kind of frustration that makes me want to punch people in the throat."
"Yar! Glad I could keep you on an even keel."