I have so much I want to say about this. I've thought about it quite a bit recently, wondered about the differences between healing and scarring, getting past something versus really putting it behind you and moving forward. I feel like I've done a little of each of those things over the last three years, with varying degrees of success. Mostly, I feel as though I've survived, and I'm proud of that, but it isn't always enough. There are emotional wounds that have closed up without completely healing. There are scars so tight that they're keeping me from being able to move the way I want to move.
This is shaping up to be a weird NaBloPoMo month. It might be the first one that truly feels personal to me. It will also be the first one that Mr. Wolf will be live-reading, as he's sitting just to my left as I'm writing this entry. I don't know how he's going to respond to some of it. I know it's not always going to be funny or witty.
There's just been so much. It's tempting to say, "Whew! That's over," and march forward. But it's all still back there, just waiting. I have to turn back and face it down.
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