Today is The Engineer's birthday.
You know that scene in 'Jaws', the one where the shark's just eaten the boater, and Brody's kid's in the hospital in shock, and Mayor Vaughn's wandering around muttering, "...August...we can still save August...", and Brody says, "August? Look around you, Larry! You're the mayor of shark city!", but it's clear that Vaughn's mind isn't operating completely on this plain of consciousness, and that he's obsessing over the details of an unobtainable goal, so much so that his words seem like non-sequiters? I've turned into Mayor Vaughn, or a combination of Mayor Vaughn, the Hybrid from 'Battlestar Galactic' and Donatella with her pashminas.
I've got this huge thing coming up at work, big thing, has to be done by the end of the week or the labors of the entire company will be for naught. I don't have the sole power to make this thing work, but I'm solely responsible if it doesn't. It's a lot of pressure.
So last night, Accountant Boy comes home late from work and asks me what I had for dinner. I mutter, "...toast...I had...yeah, toast..."
"Did you eat anything else?"
"...have to get the warranty information for the car..."
"Honey? Shouldn't you eat something else?"
"...trail mix...they have trail mix in the training room up on four...have to remember to get my favorite workout socks from the dryer...prepaid interest from HUD line 802...gotta figure out how to get to HUD 802 from the summary table...left join...water the poppies..."
Later, when he asked me if I wanted to watch more television, or if maybe we should just go to bed, I stared at the coffee table for twenty seconds, then murmured, "...the gargoyle's splitting open..."
"Yeah, honey. That's been happening for a long time."
I looked up at him, and I almost started crying. "It HAS? Ah, man! When did that happen?!?" Because now, you see, I have to add 'Find and purchase replacement gargoyle' to my list. Sadly for A.B. and I, this was the most connected, coherent conversation we had yesterday. And it reminded me of that moment where Brody's yelling at Vaughn and pressuring him to sign the contract to hire Quint, and you think Vaughn's totally out of it, but then he says, "Martin! My kids were in that water, too," and that's the moment you realize that he wasn't out of it at all, that his mind was just racing with all of the things he was juggling, so full and racing that he couldn't even stop from thinking out loud, and it all made sense to him and only him.
I know how ankle socks, trail mix, HUD 802, Mother's Day, the decaying gargoyle statue, my poppy seedlings, Accountant Boy's car, Accountant Boy's nephew's car, the Engineer's birthday, my malfunctioning robot vacuum, peep-toe shoes and a dinner consisting of a plate of toast are related. They're all balls in the air and I'm trying to juggle them, and I'm unable to put any of them down. And in my mind, I'm thinking that if I can just get through this month and June, it'll all slow down. No, that's not right. July's going to be a mess, too.
"...August...we can still save August..."
I'm the mayor of Shark City.
In other news:
--I opened my desk drawer the other day and found a mouse eating my oatmeal. I made my manager clean out the drawer, citing the "Girly Fear of Jumping Rodents" clause in my employee handbook. Then, because it's the kind of thing that's expected of me here at work, I named the mouse Freddy.
--I started the lace sections of Cobweb. Daisy says, "That? My favorite thing you've ever knit." I don't know if I should be delighted or insulted by this. Pictures soon.
--"It's not just a goal for the summer. It's a LIFE goal." What was I talking about? Fantastic museum exhibit? The Boston Pops on the Fourth of July? Machu Picchu? Oh, readers. You ought to know me better than that by now. Click here and find out. It's better if you have the sound up on your computer.
--I broke my yarn buying freeze, but it was for a good reason. Here's the reason.
It's the free pattern that came with a full-bag purchase of Schoeller Stahl 'Arosa'. I've already swatched for it, and I'm a'knittin' it up during the times when I'm too distracted to work on the lace of Cobweb. It's knit on relatively large needles. This makes me happier than you can imagine. Yes, I probably have yarn I could have used for it in my stash, but in order to get the pattern, I had to buy the new yarn, you see. So it was unavoidable. Dammit.